Just Show Up

I was actually sharing it with my stepdaughter not too long ago. She'd been invited to a birthday party where she barely knew anyone, and the nerves were real. My advice to her? Just go.

But it's the same advice I'd give any firm owner. Showing up - even when you're unsure, unprepared, or can't calculate the ROI in advance - is one of the most underrated growth strategies in business.

This guide is about making that mindset practical for accounting firm owners who know they should be more present in rooms, at events, and in conversations - but who hold back because the outcome isn't guaranteed.

The hesitation that holds professionals back

There's a particular kind of reluctance that shows up in professional services. You want a guaranteed return before you walk into a room. You want to know who's going to be there, whether it's worth your time, and whether you'll fit in. And if you can't answer those questions in advance, it's easy to just not go.

I see this all the time, even among experienced advisors. I was talking with someone before a conference recently. He said he felt more comfortable going because he already knew a few people there. I understood - but my message was still the same.

People underestimate how far ahead they will get in life - whether it's in business development, learning new things, or having opportunities they didn't even think would be available - just by showing up.

The hesitation is real. But the consequences of showing up are almost never as bad as we imagine them to be.

Why firm owners struggle with this

For accounting professionals, the instinct to calculate value before committing is baked in. You're trained to assess risk, weigh options, and avoid waste. That's an asset in your work. But applied to relationship-building and business development, it can quietly hold you back.

Common reasons firm owners avoid rooms and events:

• They don't know if the "right" people will be there
• They're unsure if they'll fit in or have something valuable to say
• They feel like they need a clear purpose or talking points before they go
• They've had experiences where showing up felt like a waste of time

All of these are understandable. None of them are good enough reasons to stay home.

The "act like you live there" mindset

I teach a workshop on networking, and one of the frameworks I've landed on is this: instead of "fake it till you make it," try act like you live there.

The difference matters. "Faking it" implies performance - pretending to be something you're not. "Acting like you live there" means walking in with the assumption that you belong, that people will be glad you're there, and that you don't need to wait for an invitation.

A lot of times we wait for invitations, and we assume that if we're not invited it's because we're not wanted. But that really has nothing to do with it. You've got to make your own invitation.

In practice, this looks like:

• Walking in and introducing yourself without waiting for someone to approach you first
• Treating the room like you're already part of the community
• Asking questions and being curious, rather than trying to "perform" your expertise
• Assuming positive intent from others in the room

I have a story that makes this concrete. A colleague and I once ended up at the wrong building for an event, wandered into a gathering for Portland's sportswear industry, stayed, and ended up connecting with two new clients. Nobody asked us to leave. Everyone was glad we were there.

That's the mindset in action.

Saying yes once doesn't mean saying yes forever

This is the part of this that doesn't always get talked about - and it's just as important.

Showing up is how you learn what's worth your time. But once you've had the experience, you get to decide intentionally whether you want to keep going. The goal isn't to say yes to everything indefinitely. The goal is to give things a real chance before you decide.

Just because you say yes once does not mean you have to say yes forever. And being able to step away from that and say, okay, I'm glad I showed up, but that doesn't mean I'm committed - that is the work.

Your time is genuinely limited. You can't attend every event or say yes to every opportunity. But the filtering should happen after the experience, not before. Otherwise, you're making decisions based on assumptions rather than evidence.

A simple framework for showing up with intention

This isn't about random, unfocused attendance. It's about going in with a clear and simple mindset so you can get the most from being present.

Before you go

1. Identify the room, event, or conversation you've been hesitant to walk into.
2. Set a simple intention. Not a goal like "get three leads." An intention like: I'm here to meet people and be open to what comes from it.
3. Let go of the need to know the ROI in advance.

While you're there

1. Act like you live there. Walk in with ease.
2. Focus on being curious, not impressive.
3. Have one or two simple questions ready if conversations feel hard to start: "How did you end up here?" or "What are you working on lately?"

After you leave

1. Assess the experience honestly. Was it useful? Interesting? Worth repeating?
2. Make a deliberate decision about whether to go again. Don't default to always or never.